Oh boy, time has gotten away on me over here! I can’t believe it’s been 3+ weeks since my last update!

Early on in Austin’s life, the weeks were very clearly delineated from each other, and each Monday I was acutely aware that he was another week older (and also, I was another week further along in my healing process). These days, I hardly even notice the start of a new week anymore, they all are kind of melding together, and the month markers seem to be more clearly defined. I’m sure over time, even those will meld away into years. Sniff sniff. My heart is swelling and breaking at the same time to watch my little baby grow every day!

The biggest event since my last update a few weeks ago was our big trip to Mexico with Matt’s family! We were gone for 7 days from February 27th – March 6th, and we all lived to tell the tale! Traveling with a 5 month old is NOT for the faint of heart, and I thought I was seriously going to die from anxiety a couple of times, but it was all really good learning for us, and Austin-from-Boston (still going strong with that nickname….ha) made things SO easy on us…he really is such a good little baby.

Things got off to kind of a rocky start with the trip because there was a big backlog of people at the airport checking in, and we ended up being late for our flight. I forgot our chilled milk in the fridge at home (OMG), so we were counting on me being able to do a big morning pump in the bathroom at the airport to give us enough milk for the flight, and basically to get us to the hotel room at the resort. With us being late, it ended up being that as soon as we got through security, they were calling general boarding for our flight already! We didn’t really have a choice, so I popped into the first bathroom that I saw and started pumping (seriously – sometimes I can’t take the glamour of it all lol). We figured that it normally takes at LEAST 20 minutes to board an airplane, and that I’d be able to do a full 20 minute pump, which should have given us 400+ mL to survive  the flight and trip to the resort from the airport. Of course, for some reason, boarding was LIGHTNING fast this time, and I was only about 8 minutes into pumping when suddenly I heard the “final boarding call for Sidders, party of 3″….OMG!! I totally flipped out (pretty funny to see I bet with my crazy pumping apparatus), ripped off the pumping gear and ran out of the bathroom with the breastmilk bottles AND pumping cones still attached, found Matt and Austin waiting outside, and together we bustled over to the gate, milk in hand.

Moment to appreciate the crazy family running through the airport with the frazzled mother holding two half full bottles of breastmilk and pumping cones…..seriously, I don’t even want to KNOW what people must have been thinking LOL

We got to the check-in desk at the gate, and I was fumbling around like an idiot with the bottles, trying to get the cones off and the lids on, spilling milk all over the place, it was just a gong show, there’s no other way to describe it! From there, we made our way down the ramp to the plane, and with all of the craziness, I hadn’t really had a chance to let the anxiety catch up to me, but it all came screaming into my face at the door of the airplane.

It’s a long story, but to cut it short, Austin wasn’t able to get his vaccines before we went on this trip. We had our specialist appointment on the 20th of February, and the outcome was basically that they were going to arrange for him to receive the vaccines under observation at McMaster hospital (which by the way, is ALL we have been trying to achieve for  the  past 6 months…..ugghhhhhh). They never called us back, and STILL haven’t called us back over three weeks later to schedule his appointment. They are on my hit list to follow-up with this week, that’s for sure. Our family doctor was less than supportive of this trip to Mexico, and kind of raised her eyebrows at us for traveling with him unvaccinated. Matt and I talked about it at length, did our research and decided that we were going to go ahead with the trip, as the risk was super super low. But that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t anxious about it. I’ve been a bit obsessive about germs in our daily lives, let alone on an airplane in a confined space, so I was REALLY anxious about flying with Austin.

At the door of the airplane, we had to take Austin out of his car seat / stroller and carry him onto the plane. For some reason, seeing  my tiny little baby exposed at the door of this big huge airplane full of germs just totally overwhelmed me and I started balling my eyes out at the door of the plane while Matt fussed with the stroller, trying to jam it into this bag that I had bought to protect it when it went under the airplane (it didn’t end up fitting our stroller LOL, poor Matt….). I still had breastmilk bottles under my arm, and was carrying about 5 different bags, the pump on my back, Austin’s blankets etc, and I was still balling my eyes out when I stepped on the plane with Austin. The flight attendants thought I was BANANAS lol, one of them had her arms out like I was on fire or something and was saying something like “I just…I don’t know how to help you?!” LOL… looking back it’s pretty funny, but at the time…..very UNFUNNY let me tell you.

The flight ended up being totally uneventful after all that hullabaloo. We fed Austin on the way up, there was no issue with his ears, and he slept for a good chunk of the flight. He got a little fussy part way through, but nothing that a little walking around didn’t fix. Landing wasn’t an issue either. PHEW.

Throughout the week, the biggest challenge was managing Austin’s temperature. The problem with Mexico is that it gets SUPER super hot and sunny outside during the days, and indoors it is air conditioned pretty heavily, making it pretty chilly. So between being chilly indoors, and hot as hell outdoors….it was a little tough to try and keep little muffin the right temperature all week. A couple of tricks like battery powered fans clipped onto our stroller were key in helping with this!

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Matt’s cousin’s wedding was gorgeous, and I was so happy that we could be there for it. Being there for events like this is really important to me, and we really try to make a point to say YES to important life events like this for our friends and family, even when it’s challenging to make it work. I feel like life is just too short to miss out on these moments if there is any possible way that we can be there.

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The flight home was even more uneventful than the way there, Austin slept with me for a good chunk of it, and hardly fussed at all. Again….PHEW.

Apart from Mexico, Austin is as full of beans as ever, and we are really settling into our new normal well! We’ve shifted his bedtime earlier now to about 8:30pm, which is amazing, because it gives us about an hour and a half after he has gone to bed to just relax and hangout ourselves. For the last several months, we’ve pretty much had Austin up with us right until we go to bed, so it’s this entirely new (and wonderful) universe to have some time to just put our feet up and relax. I’m hopeful to keep shifting his bedtime just a little earlier, I think a 7pm – 7am schedule would be ideal for daycare once I’m back to work in the Fall, but 8pm – 8am wouldn’t be bad for now either.

Developmentally, Austin is chugging along, and his cheeky little personality comes out more and  more every day! He’s discovered that when he’s had enough of his bottle, he can purse his lips and SPIT milk back out at us LOL….I laugh because it’s kind of cute, but trust me, I’m not overly thrilled when I get a mouthful of milk right in the face!! He also regularly feasts on his toes now; the second his diaper comes off especially, the feet go up and straight into his mouth! In general, Austin just seems anxious to get moving, he kind of “bum scoots” across the floor now on his back, where he kind of pushes off his feet and lifts his bum to scoot forward. He rolls over to his back  automatically now as soon as you put him on his tummy, and he’s also learned to roll from his back ONTO his tummy, which is a lot more effort for him, but he’s done it several times (including a couple of times OVERNIGHT…talk about a freakin’ heart attack, when  I woke up, looked at the monitor and see him on his FACE….OMG).

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Our big goal for 5 months is to work on sitting up! We work on it every day, and while we still have a way to go, I’d bet that by the time 6 months comes around, we’ll be pretty close.

Austin and I start swimming lessons together next week, and I just can’t believe it! I’m kind of nervous about germs in the pool, but am taking solace in the fact that his face won’t be in the water at all….I hope he likes the swimming lessons, he still seems a little  unsure about bath time! We’ve also signed up for a mama and baby art class (Baby Picasso….lol) which starts the week after next and I’m really looking forward to that as well! I’m a lot more confident going to some of these classes now that we’ve had several weeks of Tickles ‘n Tales under our belts, and I kind of know what to expect.

Lastly, my recovery. It’s been a huge couple of weeks for me.

I’ve been dealing with some pretty massive anxiety about some symptoms (mostly heaviness / dragging sensations when doing activity) and what that meant for me. I was certain that I had some serious problems that would be life long, and was really depressed about it all. I knew that I was obsessing about it; it was on my mind all day every day. I had my check-in with my OB, and she gave me a glowing review. She completely ruled out the concerns that I had about prolapse, and assured me that I really and truly didn’t have to worry about that going forward. She also did a quick little chemical treatment on me externally to cauterize / heal up one teeny tiny little spot that has been stubborn to heal, and it’s made a world of difference already. To reinforce all of this, my pelvic floor physiotherapist gave me a very similar report at my appointment on Monday of this week, and encouraged me to start exercising again! All this to say, that I am really and truly starting to move forward from this. I’m actively working on the anxiety and obsessing that I’ve done for the last 5 months, and I am truly optimistic that the end is near for me and this injury / recovery.

BodyAttack 100 launches at GoodLife on April 25th, and I am tentatively, and cautiously optimistic that with a lot of focused strength work and easing in, that I may be able to be a part of it in someway. I still have a lot of work to do before that, but I have 6 weeks to do it, and I’m cautiously optimistic; that’s all I can say.

I am truly starting to feel so lucky that my body is finally responding to treatments and that I HOPEFULLY won’t have lingering side effects for life because of this tough situation. Hopefully this story has a positive ending, and I can be a beacon of hope for some other poor new mama that finds herself in this very difficult boat and feels hopeless like I did for so many weeks and months.

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Anyways – I’m off to enjoy another few minutes to myself before heading to bed. Life is good, I am such a lucky girl.

-Sara xo

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