Author: sara8989

22 Weeks (#2)

Well I’ve certainly fallen off the proverbial wagon in terms of keeping up with my weekly pregnancy blog posts this time around!! It’s been on my mind, but to be honest pretty much ever since I found out I was pregnant again, I’ve been in a constant state of survival mode, and finding a few minutes to sit down and write my weekly updates has been so tough!

Since I’ve missed so much ground from the first half of the pregnancy, I’ll sum it up for you in three words:

  • Nausea
  • Exhaustion
  • Delirium

I was sick for a reeeeeeallly long time with this pregnancy, and still am sometimes, but the constant nausea is finally starting to settle down, and I’m able to enjoy (most) food again… hurray!! I never realized what a bummer it would be for most foods to make you sick, but man it was hard!! I’m very much conditioned to turn to food as a source of comfort when I’m feeling down and out, and man did I ever feel down and out for a lot of those first 20 weeks… but the problem was that food made things much worse, not any better. I’m still not really doing that well with very sweet things (here’s lookin’ at you Timbits), and things heavy in dairy (no Drumstick Ice Cream cones this time around…noooooo), but in general, I’m feeling much better and much more functional now, thank the high holy lord.

My energy levels have been a constant challenge, and still are at this point in the pregnancy. I’ve never felt exhaustion like I felt at the start of this pregnancy, it was all I could do to get through a day or to the next point where I could lay down and close my eyes. Keeping up with Austin has been incredibly tough (seriously, I don’t know what the boy runs on, cause it sure ain’t an overly healthy diet of vegetables and green juice, but he just keeps going and going and going!!!), but I’ve been doing my best to not let my slow-ass hold him back from the fun things that he wants to do.

Recently, Austin’s taken more interest in my belly and has started piecing together when we ask him “who lives in Mommy’s belly?!” that it’s not just a “BAAAAAABY!!” but “Austin’s baby brahhhhhther!!!” and it just melts my heart. I hope that he adjusts well to Little Babe (our nickname for this little man LOL), but think we could be in for some rough times as things settle into new normal once he’s born… although Austin is a total wild animal at home and with people he knows, he’s quite shy and reserved in new situations and around new people, and I think it might take him a while to get his head around a new little human being part of his world. We’ll see though, I’m hopeful that a little bit of prep work will make things easier for him… fingers crossed.

Aside from my symptoms, I’ve been freakin’ HUGE this time around compared to last time (so much so that I haven’t yet taken a bump picture… I just feel like a whale!!). I look at pictures from 22 weeks last time and think damn! I hardly look pregnant! This time I feel like I look 40 weeks already, have been in maternity clothes for the past month or more (please shoot me – the pants haven’t gotten any better), and just in general look like someone’s inflated me like a helium balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Mmmmm Thanksgiving… ❤

I’m trying not to worry about it too much, my activity level has been much lower then it was when I was pregnant with Austin, for three main reasons: 1) I’ve felt like garbage, 2) I’ve been exhausted and fall asleep pretty much as soon as Austin does and 3) Every minute that I have awake / functional, I want to spend with Matt and Austin and not at the gym. I’m still teaching BodyPump once a week, so that’s my one saving grace, and am trying to do some free weight stuff at home once in a while to keep some sort of muscle tone under all this flab. I figure I don’t need to actually be “in shape”, I just need to be in the same area code as “in shape” so that I can find it again after all is said and done with my pregnancy! I did get totally suckered in to buying this fit pregnancy program that I haven’t even opened yet (seriously, $40 well-spent Sara), and maybe one day I’ll get around to doing a few workouts from that program lol

We had our anatomy scan a few weeks ago, and for the most part things looked good with Little Babe, but there was one kind of scary thing that our OB mentioned, which was that there was a bit of swelling in both of his kidneys, most likely just because his system wan’t mature yet, and the valves needed to grow / develop some more. Apparently it’s a common finding, especially for boys, but I’m still nervous about it, and hoping that at our next ultrasound (September 12th!), things are looking better and less swollen.

I’m not sure if it’s because I recognize the movements more clearly now that I’ve been pregnant before, but Little Babe seems to be soooo much more active in there than I remember Austin being at this early stage! It feels like he’s constantly darting around in there and kicking forcefully, which I always get a smile out of. Austin was less of a kicker and more of a “pusher”… he would always puuuuush his little legs against my stomach like he was trying to bust right outta there… so much so that I could clearly make out his little foot print through my skin LOL… we’ll see as Little Babe gets bigger and stronger how his movement patterns develop, but for now, he seems like very much of a “darter” LOL

This week I did actually have a kind of scary episode that landed me in the hospital on Thursday. I was at work when all of a sudden I had this crazy spell of black spots and couldn’t see at all for about 20 – 30 seconds… felt like I was going to pass out… so did the only logical thing, which was to stand up and walk outside to my car and drive away from the office lol… (I am, of course, kidding, that was probably the dumbest thing I could have done *insert eye roll here*). I drove myself over to the hospital to get checked out for any scary blood pressure issues or anything like that, and got sent right up to Labour & Delivery which was a bit scary, but they quickly checked me out once I got up there and assured me that it seemed like an isolated blood pressure dip, and that all looked good with Little Babe and with me at that point… so off I went, and onwards we go. Pregnancy is weird, I tell ya.

Anyways, the long -weekend is coming up, and I’m sooooo looking forward to a few days with Matt and Austin without having to deal with work… work has been slowly sucking the life out of me over the past few months, and I’m really feeling like I need a break these days. Hopefully the long weekends will keep me going until I take a week off in October, and hopefully THAT will get me through to December… 😀

Anyways, happy long weekend to all – hope you have a great one and I’ll see you back for 23 weeks next week (mark my words!).

-Sara & Little Babe

xo

 

10 Weeks (#2)

Holy Catfish you guys… here we go again!

Life has been a crazy, beautiful, exhausting whirlwind, and I’ve fallen off the wagon in terms of my monthly Austin updates, but I’ve also come to terms with that and the fact that we’ve been busy living and enjoying every moment (or at least most moments ;)) with our little man, and that has made it challenging to find the time to regularly update on what we’ve been up to.

To add to the chaos… Matt and I found out that we were pregnant again in April! Ahhh! It happened much more quickly this time for us, only three months of trying compared to the seven it took with Austin, and I’ve found myself back on the crazy, upheaving ride that is pregnancy again ever since.

This first trimester has been extremely challenging for me, and has really pushed me to the brink several times. I’ve been sick this time around… nauseous like you wouldn’t believe, day in and day out. Eating has been a real challenge (although I’m still forcing it all down and ballooning up like you wouldn’t believe!), and my energy has been absolutely ZERO, so most days it’s been all I can do to make it to 7pm when Austin goes down for the night, and then pass out on the couch from 7pm until Matt wakes me up at 10pm to go upstairs for bed.

While the nausea has been beyond miserable, the absolute hardest part of this first trimester for me has been struggling to keep up with Austin and to be everything that he needs me to be when I’m not feeling well and have zero energy. My little monkey is 20 months now, and he is this complete Tasmanian devil of energy! The child never stops moving! He’s plucky and outspoken and full of spunk and I just couldn’t love him anymore if I tried, but sweet mother of all things holy, he takes energy, and I’ve been in extremely short supply of that these past several weeks!

Somehow (I’m honestly not quite sure how), we’ve survived the last 8 weeks, and this week (week 10), I’m starting to feel a little better in terms of nausea / energy. As I write this, I’m feeling a little nauseous, and definitely a little tired… but not like I was a few weeks ago. I’m hoping and praying that with the end of the first trimester juuuuuust around the corner (but who’s counting? ;)), I’ll start feeling the second trimester energy wave come on soon, and I can get back to feeling like myself again.

I’ve only had one ultrasound so far, our dating ultrasound which I did around 8 / 9 weeks. Little Babe looked good in there, and was measuring right on schedule for our conception date, it’s little heart rate was a strong 170 bpm!

With Austin, I was sure from Day 1 that he was a boy… and with this little Babe, I have a strong feeling that she’s a girl. It could be that I feel so extremely different with this pregnancy then I did my first, or maybe just a mother’s intuition, but I would bet a decent amount on this one being a girl. We’ll have to wait and find out for another 10 weeks! Ugh!

I have my next ultrasound on Monday June 17th, and I can’t wait… I always get nervous in between ultrasounds / appointments, and since this time I’ll be going with an OB, I won’t actually see her until closer to 20 weeks (which just seems cray-cray to me!). The reason that I’ll be going with an OB (the same OB that delivered Austin actually) is because this time around, I’ll be having a planned C-section from day 1. My poor body is still battling to come back from the horrific experience that it endured during our first vaginal delivery, and I’ve had several doctors, specialists and physiotherapists urge me to go the route of a planned C-section this time.

And I ain’t arguing.

I’m feeling extremely positive and (dare I say?) excited about my C-section this time around. I understand completely that a C-section isn’t the easy way out; it’s major abdominal surgery and it’s not something to be taken lightly… but if you recall from some of my posts late in my pregnancy with Austin, what I’ve always craved and envisioned for my sweet babies birthdays is calm, peace and love. Poor, sweet little Austin wasn’t lucky enough to get any of that when he was born, because he came out right in the middle of a horrific battle scene, with his mother dissociating from the entire room because she was so traumatized.

I am so hopeful for this birth that things will be different, and will be the calm, peaceful environment that I so wanted for Austin. I plan to be very proactive leading up to the surgery and to do everything I can to help set me up for a smooth recovery afterwards. A lot of people have warned me that “it’s a 6 week recovery you know…”, which makes me half laugh and half shake my head, because my injury from Austin’s birth is permanent, and life-long. I’m 20 months out now and still dealing with symptoms and complications that will likely only get worse with time. A surgical wound seems like a much preferable option for me.

ANYWAYS, aside from the nausea and the exhaustion, the other thing different about this pregnancy is that I feel like my belly is HUGE already! I’m barely able to conceal it at 10 weeks, whereas I really didn’t show at all until about 20 weeks with Austin. I pretty much don’t fit in any of my pants anymore, so it’s going to be a looooong haul with those mother effing maternity pants. Curse those damned things to hell.

We haven’t told any of our family yet at this point, mostly because I’m still really paranoid and freaked out that something will go wrong. I’ve had a lot of my friends go through terrible losses during pregnancy, and I just can’t stand the idea of getting everyone’s hopes up and then destroying them if something happens. I’d rather take that burden alone. I’m hoooping to wait until our next ultrasound on June 17th to tell anyone, but at this point, 11 days away, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to hide it for much longer (especially since I’m going to be in a wedding next weekend and will be wearing a very revealing bridesmaid dress lol). We’ll see which way the wind blows I suppose, and tell people when the time is right 😉

I guess that’s about it for this week! I’m almost to Week 11 now, and have got my eye on Week 12 / 13 as the official end of the first trimester, and hopefully the start of an exciting new one with decidedly less nausea and sleeping! 🙂 🙂

Chat soon!

-Sara & Little Babe

xo

 

14 Months

Hello! Happy December!

As usual, the gigantic elephant that is the holidays has somehow snuck up on us all again, and here we are 18 days away from Christmas.

I could so easily freak out right now!

I don’t think I’ve ever been so unprepared for the holidays as I am this year, probably because I’m being run completely off my feet trying to do 4 full / part-time jobs right now, and I just don’t have a second to breathe most days. Between my actual job, teaching classes, selling Stella & Dot jewelry (a side gig I picked up because, you know, I was looking for something to do in my spare time?) and being the best mama I can be, I’ve really been burning the candle at both ends for the last month or so. I’m trying to make a conscious effort to slow down a little bit, but with the calendar absolutely jam packed for December already, it doesn’t look like that is going to happen anytime soon.

The good news, is that I’m so looking forward to all of the things that we have planned for December! We are going to get our Christmas tree this weekend at a cut your own tree farm (one of Matt’s traditions – BELIEVE me, I would take a fake tree ANY DAY over this real tree hodge podge), and I have some MEGA Christmas shopping to do this weekend in and amongst Matt’s work Christmas party and another little holiday get together on Sunday.

SO, on the Austin front, our little man continues to just be so much fun!

Walking (!!)

He took his first REAL steps just yesterday, and walked about 5 or 6 steps from the couch to his play structure, and back again! It is so beyond bizarre for me to see him teetering around in wide open space, I’m so not used to it! He still has a long way to go to be officially “walking”, but he’s definitely getting there! You should see the huge, gigantic grin on his face when he’s walking, it is honestly hysterical. He clearly knows that he’s doing something cool, and is pretty pumped about it!

I’m sticking with my initial prediction that he won’t actually “really” walk independently until about Christmas time, but it’s still so crazy exciting to see him starting! Austin has always been a little on the later side for some of the gross motor milestones (sitting, crawling, walking etc), so often I’m chomping at the bit for him to pick up these new skills so that we can get on to the next stage of fun. That being said, I think I’ve been pretty good at just rolling with it when it comes to walking and enjoying all of the fun we’ve had in his crawling / pulling up stage. Plus as my one friend told me, “enjoy the time before he walks, because you’re really up sh*t creek once he starts walking”….LOL

Daycare

He continues to do so well at his daycare, and I just couldn’t be more proud of him. He’s really growing to love his teachers, which is heart warming and heart breaking at the same time (you’re only allowed to love MEEEEEEEEEE 😥 ), but we got the devastating news just the week that one of the teachers that he really likes is actually going to be moving to a different classroom! We are so sad about this, because she really seems to have a soft spot for Austin, and he just adores her…. sigh.

We did have one incident at daycare (I had to sign an “incident report”….!) where Austin actually chomped down and bit some other little person’s finger. The teachers felt kind of bad for him because they explained to me that Austin was off playing with a toy and someone crawled up to him and stuck their finger in the side of his mouth…. so while I do kind of understand WHY it happened, we’re trying to crack down on our little Jaws biting on anything he’s not supposed to at every turn!

 

14 Months

Hello and Merry Christmas to all! We’ve had a crazy busy holiday season this year and have had a house full for the last little while, so I’m sliding in a little late with this 14 month Austin update!

Austin had such a great Christmas. He was so happy all day yesterday, and even though he was way off his nap schedule, little man kept it together and was just the sweetest, happiest little guy. Matt’s parents have been down for the holidays, and we also had Matt’s youngest and middle brother and his girlfriend and their Golden Retriever here staying with us, so there have been lots of people around to play with Austin and love on him, and in true ham fashion, he has been loving every minute of it. We woke up at our house on Christmas morning, and then made our way over to my parents house for the afternoon and Christmas dinner.

For Christmas, my parents got Austin this stand alone plastic kitchen, and he just loved it; he probably spent over an hour playing with it yesterday (not bad for a guy who rarely devotes longer than a minute or two to any particular toy!!!). It just amazes me how independent he’s getting now, sometimes I’ll turn my head and catch a glimpse of him and it just hits me in the gut that he really isn’t a “baby” anymore, more and more he’s looking and acting like a little boy. I don’t know if that makes me want to sob or beam with pride. I guess, truth be told, it’s both.

Walking

Well folks, the day we’ve all been waiting for has arrived….Austin is officially a full fledged walking baby! Go Austin!

Just as I was starting to get a teeny bit nervous that he was a little behind the walking curve, he started getting super adventurous stepping off from wherever he was holding onto and taking one or two wobbly steps before falling. He did that for a few days, and then one Wednesday when I was working at home, he took the big leap and made it a few more steps for about 4 or 5 in total. I can’t think of many more things that warm my heart more than the look on Austin’s face when he started walking. He had this ENORMOUS Cheshire Cat grin on his face every time he would step away from the couch or wherever he was holding onto, and teeter for a few steps with his hands HIGH up in the air way above his head. I die. He clearly was having so much fun with this new found freedom that he kept pushing on with it, and it wasn’t more than week from that point that he was full on walking on his own.

The daycare staff seem to enjoy Austin’s walking style too (lol) because the first thing that they said when he came in and started walking for them was “He walks like he’s under arrest!” LOL, my dad gets a good laugh out of saying that he looks like he’s coming out of a bank hold-up…”Don’t shoot!”….. you get the picture!! He’s getting steadier and steadier every day, but still tumbles a lot, especially when he gets going fast (and Austin likes to get most places he’s going FAST).

A lot of people have told me that once they start walking, it becomes even harder to keep them out of trouble, but I’m actually finding the opposite….now that Austin is walking, he seems to be more content and proud of himself, and things have actually gotten (strike me down for saying it), maybe a little easier since then?!

I take it back, I take it back….please don’t strike me down karma gods…..!!!

Testing Limits

This has really been an enormous month for Austin in terms of cognitive development too. I can’t believe some of the things that he’s started doing these days. One of the new things that we’ve noticed is that he is actually testing limits and throwing mini temper tantrums when things don’t go his way or he wants to get our attention. We aren’t totally sure where he’s picked it up from, but can’t help but kind of laugh to ourselves, as long as he doesn’t get hurt in the process. The trademark “Austin Tantrum” involves throwing himself down on his back from whatever position he’s in (standing, kneeling, crawling, you name it), and tossing his head back so that it makes a big thud on the floor.

The first few times that he did this, we SPRINTED over to him if we weren’t already beside him and made a big fuss about it, but we quickly realized that he was doing it 100% on purpose, and if we didn’t react right away, he would actually stay in that position, and just wait for us to react before he would react. Some of the things that really set him off right now are:

-Taking anything from him that he wants and can’t have (read: my purse, the remote control)

-Preventing him from crawling into the dishwasher (I kid you not)

-Not picking him up the instant that he wants you to

-Putting him in his high chair when he doesn’t want to go

What can I say, life is tough for a 14 month old!? 😉 I actually get such a kick out of Austin’s sassy little personality, he is so strong willed, just like his mama, and seeing him learn to exert himself really makes me giggle. I’m trying to toughen up a little bit though and instill good habits in him so that we set ourselves up for later on in life…but man is it hard!

Daycare

Things are really going great at daycare these days! Austin really seems to enjoy himself there, likes all of his teachers and doesn’t cry anymore when I drop him off, which is making me feel about a million times better about things, even though I still truly hate leaving him all day.

I’m so proud of Austin for how well he’s adjusted, and for everything that he’s learning at daycare. Our biggest challenge with daycare now is keeping our little man healthy. A lot of people warned me about germs at daycare, but I didn’t fully appreciate how rough it would be until we were right in the thick of it. Within about 3 weeks at daycare, Austin came down with a nasty bug, and basically still isn’t recovered from it 4 weeks later. He missed an entire week of daycare just before the holiday break because he was way too sick to go, and when I took him to the doctor, he diagnosed Austin with a case of RSV (basically a respiratory infection), and sent us home with two puffers. My poor sweet baby.

The puffers have helped a lot, and I thiiiiiiink that the end is near / here for this particular bug, but we also have him at home with us for the next week, so who knows what will happen once he goes back to daycare again. I H-A-T-E with a burning passion when Austin gets sick, it just breaks my heart into a million pieces, and it also makes life so difficult for me because I have to juggle taking care of him (priority #1A) and not getting fired (priority #9C)…..sigh.

We still haven’t done Austin’s 1 year vaccines or his flu shot this year because he’s been so sick that the doctor won’t give him any shots until he is better. I’m hoping that we can get him in to the doctor towards the end of the break and get those done, because it’s been weighing on me for a while now.

Talking

Whaaaaat?!

Austin is such a little parrot these days, it’s so super funny. His favourite words to repeat (or even say on his own actually!) are:

-Woah

-Wow

-Ohhhhh (emphasis on the drawn out “ooohhhhh”)

-Mama / Dada

-Ch (he loves to make the “ch” sound, and then beam at you with a huge grin, he thinks that sound is so funny – probably because we always make a big deal out of sneezing and go “ACHOOOOO” hahaha)

The daycare staff constantly tell us how much Austin babbles away all day, and we know it’s true because he does it here too! We all get such a laugh out of his sweet little “Martian Babble” as we call it, and I have a feeling that he’ll jump on that talking bandwagon sooner than later. For now, we’re quite enjoying the babble stage, and love getting into rip roaring debates with him over anything and everything!

I think that’s all for this month – it’s been a huge month in general for lots of things Austin related, and I just couldn’t be prouder of our little man for everything he’s accomplished this month. It truly just keeps getting better and better, even though I hate to be wistfully saying good bye to the “baby days”.

Wishing you and your families a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in 2019! I’ll be back shortly after the New Year for a bit of different chat about goal setting and some things that I hope to work on for myself in the new year.

-Sara xo

 

 

 

13 Months

Hello From Rainy McRainville …. God Almighty, it feels like we haven’t seen the sun in a decade! I’m not what I would call a huge “summer lover” or “sunshine addict”, but enough is enough with the dreary days and the rain!

It’s been a complete whirlwind of a month since Austin turned 1 back in early October, and today is our little man’s 13th month! I swore I wouldn’t be one of those parents who used months to describe their child’s age until they were 4 years old, but it still makes sense at this age, so I’m rolling with it. I draw the line at 18 months though, after that, he’s one and a half until his second birthday 😉

Daycare

Like I mentioned, it’s been a time of complete and total upheaval in our little world over the past month, as I transitioned back to work at the end of October. This has been BY FAR the hardest thing that I’ve gone through in the past year, including all of the hell with my recovery. I never really pictured myself coming back to work at all; I pictured myself staying home with our kids until they were in school. Financially though, this just wasn’t feasible for us, and so I had to shelf that dream and come back to my dead-end job that I’ve been trying to get out of for the past 9 years.

Sigh.

It was an extremely rocky start getting Austin transitioned into daycare, but he is doing much better with things now. For the first two weeks, every time we would even go into the school building he would start gripping onto my clothes and burying his face in my neck to try and hide, and there were several drop offs where he was screaming his poor little heart out while I walked away…..just awful. Now, about four weeks into the process, things are getting a little better. Today, for example, I dropped him off with only a small whimper, and no cry. Progress.

I completely loathe and hate myself for having to do this, and I question every single day whether or not I’m doing the right thing. In fact, most days, I’m pretty sure that I’m not doing the right thing. But, I guess the only way to get through is to keep moving forward.

The biggest issue that I’m having is that I feel like I have no time for anyone or anything anymore. Not that I ever really did feel like I had enough time. I just hate coming home and having an hour and a half to spend with him before bedtime. Hate. But, I’m doing my best to make the moments count instead of count the moments (cheesy line, I know, but it’s the truth), and focus on quality instead of quantity. It’s really the only choice I have.

On the positive side, I am so, so proud of Austin for how much he’s developed in such a short-time at daycare. He is so much more outgoing now, and I can’t believe the fun that I see him having on the video feed (which I sit at my desk all day and watch on my phone lol). The shy little baby that I knew for the past year seems to have really evolved! It just cracks me up to watch him cruise around the classroom and get into everything and anything.

We’ve had good luck with Austin’s teachers and the daycare in general; I’ve been pretty happy with how things have gone overall. The food that they serve them is great (when he eats it), and the teachers seem really nice. There are three main teachers in his classroom, and then subs switch in and out to cover off. He seems to really like all three of his main teachers, and they seem to get a kick out of him too, which helps!

At Home

Austin is SUCH a little turkey these days, I don’t know whether to die laughing or throw my hands up in despair sometimes!! The child is not capable of sitting still for more than 5 seconds, absolutely MUST get his little paws on everything in the entire house (the more you don’t want him to touch it, the more appealing it is to him!), knows exactly where he’s not supposed to be and is bound and determined to get there, has the will of an ox and the pipes of an opera singer……shall I go on?!?! LOL I say all of this with a huge smile on my face, because 99% of it just makes me die laughing. 1% of the time I seriously think I would have more success trying to parent a chicken.

Drinking / Eating

We’ve had a big break through with his drinking! AT LAST! He pretty regularly will drink water and / or orange juice from an open cup these days, at least with Matt or I. It’s still a work in progress with his other caregivers at daycare / my mom’s house, but it’s definitely coming along. It’s funny, we noticed how intrigued he was when we would drink water from a glass in front of him, and then one of us (can’t remember who – most likely Matt) tentatively offered the glass to him….and didn’t he gulp the water down straight out of the glass?! Guess our little man just has no time or patience for sippy cups or plastic cups…..full on, adult size glasses of water it is for our 13 month old.

*Insert straight, terrified face here*

Eating has been interesting over the past month, as Austin has basically entirely given up his pureed foods now. I’m not overly happy about this, because the purees were a good way for us to make sure that he was getting enough vegetables, and also for us to sneak some milk into him without him realizing….but it’s also a good sign for his development that he doesn’t need / want them anymore. We just need to be more diligent about making sure that he gets enough vegetables from his food.

Walking

We still don’t have an independent walker, but he’s trucking along and getting closer every day! He’s super sturdy on his feet, loves to climb on everything, and once or twice has let go and taken a half step or so before he crumbled down again. My guess is that he will be walking by Christmas!

Christmas 

We did a set of Christmas pictures last weekend, and it ended up conflicting with his nap schedule, so I’m crossing my fingers and praying to God that we get at least a few good ones out of what ended up being a bit of a disaster shoot!

I am so super excited for this Christmas. Last year really kind of got squashed by the fact that my Dad was so super sick, so I’m really looking forward to making up for it this year.

Wearing

It’s becoming more and more fun to dress Austin these days, because he doesn’t only have to wear onesies anymore! For a while there, I didn’t really want to put him in t-shirts or sweaters or anything that didn’t have a button down between his legs because he was rolling and being picked up a ton, and shirts would have just rode up on him and been uncomfortable. These days though, he’s a lot more independent and spends a lot less time on his back and more time standing, so it’s starting to make sense to wear “real clothes”…..and OH MY LAWD is it ever fun to buy these clothes!! It’s like a whole new world has opened up to me!! Eeeee!!

My Recovery

I think that I am almost ready to close the book on this chapter once and for all. I had an MRI done back in September, and finally got the results at the end of October. The results showed a completely clear scan, no evidence of any structural damage or abnormalities. I’ve been feeling great, symptoms keep diminishing every day…. and I think I’m just about ready to dust my hands off and close this book once and for all.

CAN I GET A HALLLLLLLELUJAH?!

Well, on that super positive note, I’ll leave it there for this month! I can’t believe the next time that I check in it will be December!! So many fun things are coming up, and I just can’t wait!!

All our love,

-Sara xo

Happy Birthday Austin!

Hi Baby,

Happy 1st Birthday to you!! I can’t believe that it’s been a full year that you’ve been here with us!! It feels like just yesterday, and at the same time, I can’t even remember life without you.

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With the turn of your first year, I’ve spent so much time reflecting on those early days when everything seemed completely and totally overwhelming and insurmountable, and like we would never “get it”. I remember the very first time that your Grandma and I took you to your first doctors appointment out of the house, and neither one of us could figure out how to open up your stroller for the first time, so we had to ask another pregnant lady in the parking lot how to do it. Your mama had a major meltdown in the car about that one, I felt like such a failure for you that day. It’s truly unbelievable to think about the two of us on that day, compared to now.

You have turned into such a cheeky little monkey, with the best little personality! You are such a busy little beaver, always on the move with somewhere to be or something to do. You are a total pro at standing up and cruising around on anything and everything now, and I know you’ll be walking ANY day (God help me). You also love to babble and you’ve started imitating a lot of the things that people say to you which is SO super funny. Right now, you love to make a noise that sounds a lot like “SHEESH”, which is hilarious because we say that a lot around our house, and you seem to have picked up on it! You have the biggest, deepest belly laugh too, and sometimes you get laughing so hard (usually at something your Dad is doing) that you literally fall over!

You’ve started daycare now my love, and it’s breaking your mama’s heart. I miss you so much when you go, and it just kills me when you have a sad moment there and I’m not there to make it better for you. I think all things considered, you are doing really well with the transition, but it definitely isn’t the easiest on either of us. I can’t believe how exhausted you are when you come home at the end of the day! That must mean that you are learning lots and having lots of fun.

You’ve been doing a lot better with your drinking water and orange juice (still not a milk boy), although you still don’t regularly drink from your cup. You do love your solid foods though, so I’m trying not to worry too much. I’m hoping that whenever you get a chance to read this letter, that you’ll laugh at your 1 year old self who SO steadfastly refused to drink anything!

We had about a week long birthday celebration for you, starting on Tuesday (your actual birthday) and finishing on Saturday with a family get together). Your Grandma Dianne was here at the house with us on your actual birthday, and it was such a nice, quiet night. You don’t love huge crowds or big scenes, so it was the perfect quiet environment for you to really let loose and enjoy the evening. You had THE funniest look on your face when your Dad brought your birthday cupcake and candle around the corner (ask me to see that video one day please – you will absolutely die laughing), and I will never forget the way your eyes were shining with delight. You weren’t a huge fan of the cupcake icing, but I don’t blame you, you’ve been eating pureed kale and peas for the past year, so it’s really no surprise that icing doesn’t taste good to you. It’s onwards and upwards in the food department from here, and I’m sure your 1 year + foods will be much better than the infant foods were!

Saturday’s get together was a ton of fun for all of us too. We kept it pretty small and just had our families, and your Auntie Lindsay and Lee here, but it was a bit of a mad house anyways with your Uncle Neil & Kaitlyn’s puppy Hayley and Auntie Lindsay’s and Lee’s new puppy Bennett! Oh my gosh, the puppies were so cute and funny together, and when we added you into the mix, it was so hilarious. You got a few good licks to the face! You were a bit tired by the end of this party, so your cake didn’t go over very well, but you had a bit more fun with the leftovers later on in the evening.

You have changed me in every way possible my love, all 100% for the better. I have so much more empathy now for people in all situations. I’m a little better at going with the flow, although I still do like things to be planned out whenever possible. My heart is full of about 1000x more love and appreciation for health and for life. I’ve never been more clear in my life on my priorities and what matters to me. I truly have you to thank for so much.

I am so, beyond proud of you and everything that you’ve accomplished this year. You’ve been such a good little baby, and although there have been a lot of really hard moments, when I look back at them now, none of them seem that bad at all. I would give just about anything to rewind and live this year over again; even the hard parts. I will hold dear to my heart and cherish the memories of our sleepy mornings, hours on your foam mat, endless driving around Burlington with Iced Capps, Mommy & Me classes, sing songs, silly faces, crazy antics around the house, diaper blowouts, and all the rest of it for all the days of my life.

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I am trying my best to channel my wistful sadness into excitement for all of the happy memories to come. I can’t even begin to imagine how much fun this year is going to be with you as a 1 year old, but I know first hand now, how fast time goes. So my promise to you going into your 2nd year, is to do my very best to not let the hard parts upset me, to roll with the punches and keep focused on the bigger picture (that’s YOU!), and to drink in all of the moments as they happen.

I love you now, I’ll love you forever and ever sweet baby. Happy 1st Birthday!

All my love,

-Your Mommy xo

PS Mark my words – the Leafs win the cup in 2019 😉

11 Months

Happy Sunday!

I can’t believe that this will be my last Austin update before my little monkey turns 1!!! I keep replaying over the question “how old is he now?” and my answer of “1!” in my head, and it just sounds completely bizarre to me. This has absolutely been the fastest year of my life, even though some moments have definitely not felt like they went by overly quickly 😉

Austin has been so much fun this month, as always, and constantly makes us laugh. He’s been changing every day, and is currently in the awkward “I really desperately want to walk, but can’t quite do it on my own yet” phase, so the poor guy has taken a few nasty spills trying to get himself up and on the go. He pulls himself up to stand on EV-ERY-THING, and has gotten really good at cruising around while holding onto furniture (or other humans, toys, or whatever else he can get his little paws on lol). He’s also gotten really good at crawling up the stairs! Eeks! He loves to scramble over to the stairs and start climbing up without anyone behind him, and then turn around to look at you with a cheeky grin like “See! I’m doing it on my own!”. Little turkey!

It’s been a little while since I wrote about my own recovery, but I’ve been feeling really good, and have been proud of my progress mentally and physically over the past few months. I really do feel like a new person since my “Surrender” post, and am confident that things are going to be okay for me in the long term. I haven’t tackled any high impact exercise for several months, and I’ve found that my body really does feel better not doing impact stuff for now. Maybe one day I’ll dip my toe back in that pond, but for now, I’m happy being able to attack resistance training with some vigour, and that has to be good enough for me. Now that I’ve been feeling really good, I’ve been feeling the itch to get myself back in shape, and really want to find another day or two a week that I can get to the gym beyond my two classes that I teach a week. It’s a work in progress!

We are getting more and more settled into our new house every day, and the renovations are almost done!! I’m hoping that they will only be here finishing up a few small tasks for one more week, and then out of our hair for good!! The thing I’m most excited about is having Austin’s playroom all setup for him to really go wild in. I’ll post pictures of it once it’s all setup and ready to go!!

All About Austin – 11 Month Edition

Favourite Foods: Well, if there was ever any doubt that Austin was my son, his absolute passionate love affair with eating has squashed any and all of it. I’ve never seen a child love food as much as Austin does! He’s still obsessed with shredded cheddar cheese, but he also loves pretty much all juicy fruits like watermelons, oranges, strawberries, blueberries…you name it. He’s also a big fan of chicken most days, and will spend up to a half hour just sitting in his high chair grazing on whatever you give him! There are very few foods that he doesn’t like!

Car Seat: Austin is pretty much outgrown and way over his bucket car seat, so for his first birthday we’ve got him the big convertible car seat that stays in the car, and I can’t begin to tell you how T-H-R-I-L-L-E-D I am to not have to deal with that huge, heavy car seat anymore!!! I wanted to just start using the car seat right away, but Matt is making us wait for his birthday….grumble grumble.

Soother: He’s recently switched over to a new “soothie” brand soother with this stuffed animal giraffe hanging off the end of it LOL…he’s had it since he was born, but never showed any interest in it…now he’s always boogie-ing around with a giraffe hanging out of his mouth, and it just cracks me up. This one has been good for him in his crib because it’s easier for him to find in the dark, which saves us from having to get up and get his soother for him 2,500 times a night *fist pump*

Drinking Strike of 2018: Still going strong. We had a little bit of success a few weeks ago, and sometimes he will drink from an open cup, but it isn’t consistent, and it isn’t a lot. The most he will drink is freshly squeezed orange juice, but he really doesn’t dig water or milk to drink on its own (little does he know, we’ve been sneaking whole milk into his food for months now…mua ha ha ha). I have moments where I get super frustrated about this, and why it has to be so hard like this, but for the most part, I’m comfortable that he’s getting the fluids he needs in some way or another and that he’s healthy and hydrated. I haven’t made another follow-up with our pediatrician, but probably owe her a phone call…. sigh.

Daycare: Shoot me please. I literally dread Austin going to daycare and me going back to work every day like it’s the plague. I know that it’s going to be a nightmare. Like I’ve written before, Austin is a really shy little baby in public, and really prefers to be at home or with his family that he knows and trusts. I’ve tried to leave him in a child minding once before and it went terribly. I just know that daycare will be the same. Everyone says that kids get over it quickly, but I don’t think that’s true for Austin, and I really am not okay with the idea of him crying his little heart out thinking that I’ve abandoned him 😦 break my heart 😦

First Birthday: I’m working away on planning Austin’s first birthday party and although I don’t want time to go by because I am truly the transitions coming in October, I am super excited for the celebrations! We’ve already done a cake smash photo shoot which was amazing and super fun, and I’m planning a few fun things to do with the pictures during  the party! I’m really hoping that it will be a fun day for everyone, but most of all Austin!

 

Well, I think that’s all for now, but we have a huge month coming up! Austin’s birthday, a trip up to Manitoulin Island for my cousin’s wedding, Thanksgiving….it’s the most wonderful time of the year!

I’ll be back with an update around Austin’s birthday – but wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you following along with our crazy roller coaster of a year! I’m so thrilled to have the memories from the last year documented on this blog, and to share them with you. Knowing that you’ve been out there following along has given me the kick in the pants that I needed to keep up with it, so THANK YOU!!

-Sara xo