30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 8

Ah sweet, sweet Friday. We meet again. This week has been a pretty big and stressful one for me in lots of areas. Firstly, this week I filmed my assessment video for CXWORX (three times, but hey, who’s counting?), battled off a nasty sinus infection and have really had to deal with some sucky things at work.

This week at work I think I hit an all-time stress / unhappiness high. It’s a really, really long story that I won’t bore you with on this blog, but there have been some HR shifts recently in our group that have just made for an absolute hellish working environment that’s nearly impossible to exist in. Just yesterday I had to turn and walk away from someone in tears because I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach if the conversation didn’t stop.

Yesterday’s events got me thinking (oh you know, for the 1,000,000th time) about career satisfaction and purpose in life. I don’t want to be a Millenial. Seriously, I can’t deal with Millenials. Can’t even deal. I understand the concept of working hard and paying your dues (really paying your dues; I don’t subscribe to the Millenial school of thought that says that 1 year is “paying your dues”), I don’t labour under any delusions that “I am special” and I understand that every day isn’t going to be a rainbow of Skittles and sunshine. Really. I get it. No, REALLY. I REALLY DO get it.

I often fantasize about what I would do if fear, uncertainty and self-doubt were no object. Would I own my own business? Would I be back at school learning? Would I change career paths completely and do something completely different than what I do right now?

All of those options, while sounding awesome, all seem completely foreign to me because they all involve some degree of uncertainty, a high degree of change, and they rely on my own ability to get things done.

So….that brings me to today’s topic…

Share something you struggle with. 

You mean you want me to pick just one?! Good Lord, some days I struggle to just get myself dressed in the morning.

I could pick any number of things:

  • Math
  • Eating healthy
  • Holding a hover
  • Confrontation
  • Balancing priorities
  • Math
  • Hypochondria
  • Math
  • Math
  • Math
  • Did I say Math?

Math

But I guess the one that I have been REALLY struggling with in the past couple of years is this crazy, crippling fear of change and uncertainty.

Why do I stay in a job that I hate? Because I know that A) it pays my bills, B) I’m reasonably good at it, and C) nothing has to change if I do. Pretty simple.

This is something that I really hope to be able to overcome one day…but currently is a big struggle.

So, as we head off for the weekend, what do you struggle most with? Any math fans out there? 😉

Have a terrific weekend!

 

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