Month: August 2016

30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 10

Sunday evenings have been a real punch to the gut for as long as I can remember.

I think most of us (save the select few lucky souls in this world that truly love what they do for a living) experience some level of sadness that the weekend is over and that it’s back to the grind for another week, but for me this has been really exaggerated, especially in the last year.

I started noticing not long ago that the “Sunday evening blues” were extending into the “Sunday all day blues”, and even more horrifying was the day when I realized that the “Sunday evening blues” had stretched into the “Saturday afternoon blues”, and then eventually into the “Saturday all day blues”….leaving really one sacred part of the week left untouched; Friday night.

Today’s 30 Day Writing Challenge asks me to write about something which I feel strongly about; and in really sitting back and considering this, I’ve realized that a) the list is quite short and b) that slowly, I’ve been drifting further and further away from the fired up person that started this blog and completed that IronMan 70.3 back in 2013.

How terribly bittersweet it is that so few of us can see the merit in the person that we are until we are a lesser version of that person sometime into the future.

When I started this blog back in 2012 (seriously, over 4 years ago….how.is.that.possible), I was a plucky, courageous, outspoken 23 year old who truly felt unstoppable.

Case in point: I signed up for a damn IronMan 70.3 without ever having ridden a road bike in my life.

You say stupid; I say courageous 😉

I’m not totally sure what it is that’s slowly but surely morphed me into a cautious person, full of crippling self-doubt and self-confidence at an all-time low, rivaling the levels that I operated at when I was being bullied within an inch of my sanity in high school.

So many wonderful things have happened in the last 4 years that I’m really left with no choice but to draw the line back to my career, an area that I’ve been really, really struggling with on the inside more than on the outside.

From the outside, things look very rosy for me in my career.I have a good job. I make a lot of money. I have a lot of vacation time. I’m rewarded with lots of nice perks and benefits.

But I’m unhappy.

I am so, so deeply unhappy, and if that makes me a selfish millenial, then so be it. But it’s the truth.

The ironic thing is that in so many ways the somewhat successful path that my career has taken has created this incredible fear in me. Fear that nobody else will want me. Fear that I won’t succeed at anything else that I try to do. Fear that I will let people down. Fear that I will never, ever have the courage to do anything that means anything to me.

Sounds kind of like one of those twisted, emotionally abusive relationships right? It certainly feels like being in one.

In any case, I sat down to write this post about something that I feel strongly about with the intention to write about Les Mills and the profound love and respect that I have for our culture (surprised? Didn’t think so! ;-)), but my fingers started to type a different post, and so here we are.

I guess I do feel strongly about this topic as well 🙂

The silver lining to this post is that I truly don’t feel that it is ever too late to jump. It may hurt a little more with older, more brittle bones, but I truly don’t believe that the moment is ever gone for good.

I’ve slowly been taking some steps to reintroduce myself to a much younger version of myself who was truly enamoured with books and the written word. I’ve been reading again. And god damn it feels good.

I haven’t read for pleasure in so many years. I’ve devoured about 800 pages in books in the last week, and even as I type this post, my mind is wandering back to the characters living between the covers of my most recent find (The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins).

While it’s a far cry from being a solution to the issues I’m having in my career, something feels right about the direction that I’m heading, so I plan to continue down the path with some measurable steps that I’ll tell  you guys more about come September!

For now….it’s off to bed…with a quick stop-off in the fictional world to take the sting off the impending work week!

Have a great evening – fiction or non 🙂

-Sara xo

 

 

 

30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 9

Happy Friday Friends – here we are, August 26th!

It’s been a scorcher where we are, but I’ve been loving the summer heat. I can’t believe that it’s already August 26th…will somebody PLEASE find a way to slow down time?

As per usual, it’s been a busy couple of weeks. I’ve been mucho stressed out about lots of different projects and things going on in all different life arenas. Work continues to be a massive source of stress (on a number of fronts), the gym has been as busy (but wonderful) as ever, and lots has been going on with my family and friends as the summer winds to a close and everyone is trying to fit in last plans before September hits.

Also since I last posted, I’ve planted the seed for a novel. I’ve mentioned on here several times now that my fingers have just been itching to create and to write again, but that I’ve been lacking in inspiration. I finally took a little bit of time to sit down the other day and create a little bit of space for my mind to wander, and loe and behold, wander it did! I don’t have a full picture of the outline yet, but I’m slowly chipping away at it, and may look to start writing in the next couple of weeks! Exciting!

There are also some very early plans in the works for a super exciting trip for me, but more details to come on that in the next month or so, depending on how a couple of things work out. Oh the suspense 😉

Today’s 30 Day Writing Challenge asks me to post some words of wisdom that have stuck with me. I (as per usual) had lots to choose from! I’m surrounded by lots of people who work in direct marketing businesses and use their social media accounts to promote their products, lifestyles and just themselves in general! This means that I usually see lots of inspirational words every time I logon, which is kind of nice!

I chose the post below posted by one of my Stella & Dot selling friends last year because it really did stick with me, so much so that I posted it on January 1st of this year as my annual call to action to my friends and family who are setting new years resolutions.

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I hate to see people give up on fitness. It really and truly makes me so sad. Time and time again, I’ve watched January 1st come and go, bringing with it a horde of sparkly-eyed, well-intentioned people, most of whom are gone by March. Even sadder to me are the cases of friends and family starting on health and fitness goals mid-year, and getting discouraged and giving up within a couple of weeks.

If you ask me, the biggest problem that people have with sticking to fitness as a way of life is that they start by asking themselves “what exercise will a) get me the fittest or b) make me lose the most weight” and then try to do that, whether they love it or hate it. In reality, it’s the opposite view that really creates lifelong exercise habits.

“Ask yourself what makes you come alive, then go do that” and I promise, promise that you will stick with it. Forever. Yes forever, and that’s a really long time.

These words of wisdom are so true to form in every aspect of life; career, relationships, hobbies, habits….I only wish that I was better at taking my own advice in arenas other than fitness 🙂

Happy weekend friends, I hope that you do something that makes you come alive this weekend:)

-Sara xoxo